So guys I was gonna talk about another experience that happened on my street but it was a secondhand account. After writing the whole thing on paper, I couldn’t find one good thing I said so it was too much bad energy and I didn’t wanna transfer that to you guys. After all, Wiz Kid said “bad energy stay far away” so I’m adopting that lifestyle.
Anyway, like Bryson Tiller said “I’m back and I’m so much better” so here’s a more light-hearted story of how I was stuck in Northampton, England for a while. I never really told anyone this story because I was embarrassed but now I’m in a story telling mood so here it is. Let’s goo!
It was the first week of January 2015, I was going back to Colchester, Essex to finish my essays before uni resumed. I spent the Christmas and New Years holiday with my big sis in Birmingham. I have only been there twice and this was gonna be the last time. My route was Birmingham New Street Station (Grand Central) to London Euston (underground) to London Euston (overground) [it may be the other way, I confuse my Euston stations] and finally Colchester Station. So basically, I had 3 stops.
The first time I went to Birmingham (Brum), everything was nice and smooth but it was considerably colder than what I was getting used to. My sis came to get me and from there we went all the way to her place. Going back alone was smooth as well, I didn’t have a railcard which gives about 30% discount for train journeys. My sis used her railcard to buy me a ticket. It wasn’t allowed so she told me to be cautious.
I was pretty cautious or you could call me lucky. The ticket she got me was anytime and any train but there were only two train lines going my way if I remember correctly. They were Virgin and london midland. Virgin staff ask to see your ticket before boarding so I was weary of them, LM on the other hand didn’t so I boarded with them. Going back to Colchester the first time no one checked my ticket and same goes for when I was going to Birmingham the second time.
The second time I was leaving Brum I wasn’t so lucky even though I was still cautious. My sis had repeatedly told me to buy a railcard but I failed to see the point of spending about 20-30 quid when I barely used the train.
She got my ticket, I used my LM again because Virgin was checking. So everything was pretty much the same as before. Until it wasn’t. There was a female inspector on board, let’s call her Ticket Theresa. I remember being told that if you pretending like you’re sleeping when they’re checking tickets they won’t bother you, I must’ve thought “wow! Brits are so nice.”
Anyway, I didn’t act fast enough so she got to me and checked my ticket. She asked for my railcard which obviously I didn’t have. “How did you get this ticket then?” She asked, I replied in a low panicky voice “my sister.” Ticket Theresa wasn’t having it she asked me to buy a new ticket right then and there, it would’ve cost me about 80 quid. I became more panicky, I was really broke so I told her. I had cobwebs and about 60-something pence in my account and to my name home and abroad. If you had compared me to a church rat at that point, the church rat would lose.
Well that sucks. She said in that case, I had to come down in Northampton. A strange town that I knew nothing about. I didn’t hear her properly so she repeated it. It was clear, I was coming down in NORTHAMPTON, not Colchester my intended stop. Ticket Theresa didn’t have mercy on your boy lol. The only thing I knew about Northampton was that one of my friends used to live between there and London but I didn’t think I was gonna take an early ride there. I just didn’t think that’s how I’d end up there, you know.
Later on, I was falling asleep or trying to so I could minimize the pain of the unwanted situation I was in. She tapped me saying “wake up, you won’t get away.” I thought to myself “yeah I know, too late to fall asleep.” We reached Northampton and with my big big luggage I had to reluctantly drag myself alongside my luggage out of the train, we were both stopping there. I guess she was looking for company so she won’t get lonely and I was a scapegoat.
Now, I was in a real panicky mood but I was trying not to show too much of it, when I spoke, my voice was cracking like a WhatsApp audio call on bad connection. I was an immigrant in unfamiliar territory plus I was broke and I asked myself the infamous question of questions, how the hell did I get here? She passed me on to a man at the station, let’s call him Station Stewart. Theresa gladly narrated my story to him before leaving for home.
Stewart told me to call my sis so she could go to the station to buy me a ticket and I would print it in Northampton. I’m not gonna lie yeah, I thought about doing a “me no speak no English” but I couldn’t bring myself to do it, I lacked the necessary composure, it was too late they heard my English properly.
He asked for my age and I said 17, if I was 18 or older I would’ve been prosecuted. As a law student, I knew exactly what prosecution meant for me, I had no leg to stand on in this argument, my panic level increased. I was there for an hour or more looking at trains pass and briefly talking to some Nigerians who were friendly.
To divert a bit, there was also something else I was embarrassed about and it was my haircut even though people couldn’t see it under the hat I was wearing. I was pestering my sis for a haircut so she took me to a white barber recommended by her black friend so I didn’t think much of it. I should’ve but I didn’t, I saw other black barbers on the way but I wanted to believe in this friend of hers.
This barber did me dirty big time! I guess all the he had, deceived me or let’s say I was in awe. I was only used to clippers, combs and steppers. He had more, it was my first haircut in England so yeah I was open. I requested a straight high top fade and what did I get? A distorted looking right angle triangle shape and a missing hair patch on the back of my head.
Initially, I didn’t notice so I was satisfied with the cut so I didn’t wear the hat I came with and my sis didn’t observe anything unusual. I guess it wasn’t that obvious, not until I blow dried my hair and combed it properly. I told someone I got a fresh haircut and he asked for a pic and after seeing the big error, I sent him one. But guess what I did? I used my left hand to cover the side of my hair that had taken a sudden deep slope like a hypotenuse.
So there I was in the station with a bad haircut, broke and stuck but thankfully my sis came through and you bet I took my black ass home! Never to return to the Midlands. THE END!
WELL, THAT'S IT FROM ME GUYS! NOW...
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Jeweller on Mondays, Book Connoisseur on Wednesdays, Quotologist on Fridays (ahh I'm still working on that one lol) and Blogger everyday! My name is Ofai and I'm passionate about blogging and it gives me fulfillment that I can help you out so sit back, relax and enjoy your weekly carats of #SelfImprovementGems with me!