Hey Gemmers, it’s another Monday again so it’s time for your weekly dose of #SelfcareMonday vitamins with your friendly Dr O. This is a request from my guy, Josh so leave any topic requests in the comment section below. Please Like, Share and Subscribe to get the full 10 tips! Like us on Facebook, Follow us on Instagram and Twitter and Follow me on Pinterest. After getting your free PDF, check out How to Stop Being Indecisive: 4 Book Recommendations for the full package because honestly, blog posts are merely the beginning! If you're serious about solving your indecision problem then check out the book recommendations post.
Note: All the green words are clickable links. Let’s goo!
Indecision according to my Google search means the inability to make a decision quickly, wavering between two or more possible courses of action, the state of being unable to make a decision or having a lot of difficulty in deciding something. A good example is Donald Trump and you can see how that’s going. Steve Pavlina said “in a way every decision involves a choice between maintaining the status quo vs. making a change. When we can’t be certain a change will work out for the better we stay put”, this is indecision in a nutshell. You think it might be dangerous to pick a side but that isn’t particularly true. Polarity is what changes the world, neutrality is no fun, look at Switzerland!
I can give you the assurance that constant indecision will lead to failure albeit it may take some time. When you decide to be indecisive you’re deciding to be inactive – INDECISION IS A DECISION, a bad one at that. Laura Meck said, it means you’ve collectively weighed all the facts, heard all the arguments and still do not feel that you are in a position to act on one path or another – indecision keeps you standing still. In reality, most of us are not British Royal Guards who can stand still for very long, can you stand still in one place for a while without thinking it’s a punishment? When you look at it this way by being too indecisive you are punishing yourself without realising.
A good example of being indecisive after weighing the facts and all can be seen in an anime I watched recently, My Youth Romantic Comedy is Wrong, as I Expected. The situation was this: a couple of high schools came together to organise and put on a Christmas show and the service club was asked to assist. When the help, Hikigaya came through he discovered a big issue with the president who was people pleasing and trying not to offend anyone. He was indecisive, they’ll bring up ideas which he should take decisions to approve or disapprove but he kept saying let’s discuss it with the group, they discuss but no decisions are not being made until another service club member, Yukino came and saw how bad the situation was because they were running out of time, she gave them a hefty reality check saying they’re all deceiving themselves and going in circles. Well, they took that reality check to the bank and cashed out! Subsequently, they put on a great show.
This is partially the situation with the group I’m in which I said have weekly Thursday meeting with in my last post How to Combat Your Negative Thoughts. We’re obviously part of a larger group and in these meetings, we discuss and trade ideas but as evidenced in our last meeting when two of the exec members weren’t around. We really couldn’t reach any proper decisions; all I could say is that further discussions or decisions were pushed to the next meeting. This got me thinking that the way too many cooks spoil the broth that’s the way too many opinions affect decision-making especially in large groups. I know everyone’s opinion is valid but sometimes it’s counterproductive to take into account everyone’s opinion, it’s not an election. Usually, large groups have a committee conferred with most of the decision-making power because it’s more efficient; this is why we have a government and not everyone governing themselves. Too many options may lead to inertia (I love this word!) or further confusion (more on this in the pdf).
Some Causes of Indecision-Making
According to psychology, indecision has various causes and the triggers differ based on the person and their personality traits. However, there are some things that commonly impact on your effective decision-making ability.
How to Deal with Indecision
According to Steve Berglas, indecision is ultimately an action issue (rather than a cognitive one), the person gripped by it can look contemplative when, in fact, he is immobilized by fear. It could be fear derived from trauma, loss, past experience or just fear of making ‘wrong’ decisions. Thinking back on it, my love life was littered with indecision and it was shambles lol too many options or the lack of trying and... I’ll leave the rest to your imagination. Here are a few ways to deal with indecision:
1. Limit the decisions you make: Ross Beyeler from Growth Spark said there’s something called decision fatigue which means we have a limited number of decisions we can make in a given day. As such, I've set on the track of eliminating as many non-critical decisions as possible, down to the basics (e.g. when to wake up, what to eat for breakfast, what to wear, etc.). The more you standardize, the more bandwidth you have for import decision making. When faced with too many choices at once our brains can get confused and two things will usually happen, you’ll may not choose anything or you might make a decision you don’t particularly like. Imagine you go into a shop full of shoes, if you didn’t have any ones in mind before you went in you might be some trouble because there’s so many beautiful ones to choose from each one more beautiful than the previous. In this busy world of today our brain works more efficiently the more things it can automate.
2. Doubt less: I may be wrong but never in doubt – Dan Penyan. According to Jason Capital, we should avoid focusing on making the right decisions all the time, right or wrong decisions are relative, instead you should focus on making decisions the right way and that’s in an assertive way which shows you’re in control of your life. You should make decisions from a place of abundance not scarcity, of hope and promise not weakness, of power not FWD. All successes, breakthroughs and key stages in your life involves actively making decisions to propel you forward, how can you fully achieve that when you’re always indecisive? You can start practicing by making small decisions which may be of little or no consequence then make your way up like a staircase. Do you find it hard to pick between Milo and Bournvita (they're both chocolate beverages) or between a McDonald’s burger and a Burger King one? Pick the Bournvita or the Big Mac. I know it’s hard when you feel you can have both but learn to let it go, that’s the opportunity cost of life. The principle still applies between small decisions and bigger ones such as choosing one potential partner over another or deciding whether to fire some people or let your company sink due to your sentiment.
3. See Decisions as Self-expression: According to Steve Pavlina, when we look at choices as being more than just paths as being creative statements of self-expression certain decisions become much easier to make. You may say to yourself this path isn’t gonna be easy but I know this is the right way to go because it’s who I am or no matter what perspective you look at it you just can’t make it appeal to you. We’ve heard of a lot of people who turned out what seemed to be great opportunities because it “wasn’t them” or took a big risk which paid off because it “was them”. You should bear in mind that this evaluation process is separate from actually taking action. It’s okay to acknowledge you’re in a place you don’t wanna be, even when you lack the ability to do anything about it right now. The courage to act comes later. You can apply this method by asking yourself is this (attach relevant situation) really me? For example, is this relationship really me? Or is this course of study really me? Many people have graduated and barely used any skills they gained from their degree. You can use this method for both big and small decisions. If you’re having trouble then describe the decision to yourself then see if it aligns with your attributes or personality traits. For example, you’re considering whether to become a personal trainer or not because the pay is good but you don’t like pushing yourself to the limit…ain’t gonna work!
4. Establish deadlines: Tamara Nall from The Leading Niche said to move past indecision, I give myself a realistic deadline (see my post The Art of Goal Setting). My time-frame includes the ability to conduct and evaluate analyses that impact my decision making. If I need to gather input from others, I factor that into my deadlines as well. If I need to make a quick decision, I go with my gut and business instinct.
5. Take your time: I know I addressed making quick decisions and deadlines but there are some cases where more time is better. According to Healthline, hesitation may give you the necessary time to think about the issue. You get the opportunity to gather more info and weigh the facts and your options. If you can’t make a fast decision your gut is probably saying it’s unimportant or that you might be on the verge of making a wrong decision. According to Katherine Hurst, there's compelling new psychological research shows that if you take a short break from thinking about a choice, you can end up making a better decision. We can sometimes get trapped in paranoia about having to make a decision now, and this can create anxiety. The anxiety, in turn, makes it almost impossible to zero in on a choice. When you have the sense this might be happening to you, put it all aside for a while. It’s good to give some thought to how you’ll spend your time when taking a break from decision-making. For example, it’s no good if you just go straight to another stressful task, keeping your anxiety high (don’t go from frying pan to fire). Instead, think about something simple and pleasurable that you can do. For example, you can take a walk, read my blog #ShamelessPlug haha, cycle, phone a friend like in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire etc. It’s important you come to a decision on what way to take your break and then further on what decision to take after clearing your head through the break; don’t be stuck in indecision mode for too long.
6. Your Brain Lies to You: What you think will ruin your life be it illness, disability, being single, being childless, pro… (Subscribe to get the rest)
QOTD: “Life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that’s the risk of doing nothing” – Denis Waitley.
There many more tips on how to deal with indecision but I’ve decided to stop here (see what I did there?) but it doesn’t mean you have to so comment below your struggles with indecision and any additional tips I missed out on. Also, let me know what point(s) you’ve decided have impacted you already! If you like this post Share with your friends so they can Share it with their friends. See ya next Monday.
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Jeweller on Mondays, Book Connoisseur on Wednesdays, Quotologist on Fridays (ahh I'm still working on that one lol) and Blogger everyday! My name is Ofai and I'm passionate about blogging and it gives me fulfillment that I can help you out so sit back, relax and enjoy your weekly carats of #SelfImprovementGems with me!